Sweet Deliverance

I closed my eyes and sat in a deep silent meditation, desperately seeking peace and understanding. I took my first deep breath, I slowly inhaled and exhaled. I took another and then one breath after the other. I was in a state of surrender and my ears and heart were wide open. So I breathe and I wait, I breathe and I listen…listening to the waves of the ocean in the background to the soft tunes of the flute and grand piano.  Sweet sounds accompanied by the calming of birds chirping and soft wind.  My sorrowful spirit was awakened and then it happened and I welcomed it in…

The spirit of sweet deliverance whispered in my tired, torn, discouraged ear and spoke to my broken heart, my self-esteem, my hopes, my fears. Sweet deliverance spoke ever so gently to the wounded little girl in me. It spoke to my inner being and spoke to my sorrowful energy.  It spoke to my desires and dreams, my doubts and my constant internal pain; it spoke to the fragrance of a wounded woman that have been crying tears like a mourning rain.

“YOU ARE LOVE” it said, Love is your inner being and is your highest energy. Loving someone has never been about them it has always been about me… It doesn’t matter who outside of myself doesn’t give love to me because I AM LOVE and I am enough because my love is rooted internally. My love is abundant and there is always enough to share and enough to replenish me.

My joy, my happiness, my peace and my energy comes from my spiritual divinity. I AM LOVE and that proclamation is embedded in my heart because my own love cannot be taken away from me…

Thank you Sweet Deliverance!

 “When we are in a relationship or love someone, we think it’s about them and who they are what they do and how they make us feel but the reality is that loving someone is about you and your capacity to be open, vulnerable, available and accessible to your own love. The challenge is that we focus externally on the person we love because we do not recognize and realize that love is a function of the soul not a person. The yearning for that person is because they have awakened something within us “key word” (within).  The love that you are giving and receiving is the love that YOU are. It is your love that makes you feel fulfilled, you just have somewhere to focus it on for a little while when you give love to someone in a relationship. It is the giving of your love that is so satisfying, it was the opening of your heart that was giving you joy. The other person was just the recipient and focus of your love at the time. The reason why we suffer so much when we are no longer getting or giving love from a relationship that has ended is because we were taught to believe that we need someone else to love or for someone else to love us in order to experience love. Yes to share your love with someone else is one way to experience love but not the only way. Once you understand that the people you are in a relationship with at the time have simply opened your heart for you to express love, you can reclaim your capacity to love again and focus it on yourself until there is someone else to share and experience your love with.”




Protect Your Light

Often times it is very common that spiritual people will attract people who need healing. This is a beautiful thing if the person wants to share that person’s flame in order to light their own wick with it.  If you are a spiritual person you most likely have a high healing vibration of good energy and may find that you attract people who see something within you that they may be missing, and seek to fill that space within themselves by getting that energy from you.

Just as a flame can glow beautiful and bright, it also attracts moths. So be careful and protect your light. Realize that there will be many people throughout your life that will see the spiritual golden flame within you. Some will hold the same light and reflect it back at you, leaving you feeling replenished.

Others may seek to steel your light instead of learning from it in order to heal into their own beautiful flame.   You will attract people from all walks of life, but you do not have to settle for friends or relationships that drain you. Protect your light and be with and around people who reflect your light.

Your spiritual flame is like a trick birthday candle. When a person tries to blow you out, your flame may dim momentarily but will surprisingly rise again with force and will keep on rising with each blow.   A person that attempts to blow out your candle or dim your light in an effort to make there light shine brighter will eventually run out of wick. But remember, you too will burn out if you continue to allow people to drain your energy by diming you instead of reflecting back at you…

Business “IS” Personal 

I’m fed up with hearing it, so I am debunking the saying “It’s just business”

All business is not good business and yes, BUSINESS IS PERSONAL. Any time a person uses the statement “ it’s just business” it’s usually to justify their intent and agenda to engage in an unethical act or right before they’re about to royally fcuk you over. Every business decision affects people. And if we are willing to engage in business dealings with people we don’t like, respect, trust, or would otherwise trade places with just to put a buck in our pocket, we are setting ourselves up to fail.

Here is why:

Our character will override our product, talents, personality and our current customer base, fan-base/following in the long run. If our character lacks integrity, our successes will eventually suffer and come to an end, because “when it’s done in vain it can’t remain.”

What is integrity? Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. It’s a character trait of good ethics, decency, fairness, sincerity and trustworthiness. It is having the desire to do the right thing even when no one is watching. 

If we have achieved any level of success, in order to maintain that success we must have integrity. We will lose respect, credibility, current success status and future opportunities when integrity is absent from our character. Nothing built on a false and faulty foundation will last. The downfall may not be today or even this decade, but it is the universe’s quantum karmic attraction that, inevitably our downfall will come.

We must understand that integrity is not for us, it is to benefit others. It limits the amount of people that become victims due to our selfishness. Because what we do, not only impacts us, it impacts others. When we act out of integrity it benefits us because it is an insulator that protects us in our absence. 

Not that having integrity will deem us to be perfect or free of making mistakes or bad judgement calls, but what it will do is stand on its truth of who we are. The consistency in our character and in our actions is what defends our personal brand when we are not present to defend ourselves.

When we reach a certain level of success, best believe that we will be challenged by the naysayers, back stabbers, haters, ill-willed individuals and competitors that will attempt to slander our name and credibility to those that may not have had an opportunity to work with us or have not yet experienced our character.  

Having a track record of living in integrity protects and covers us. It overrides and dismisses the rumors and the malicious attacks or attempts because the truth of who we are stands on the evidence of our consistent demonstration of having integrity. Loyalty of our customers, fans, business partners, clients, etc. will only remain with us by our building of trust with them, and in order for that to happen it has to get personal. 

We achieve this by creating a win win relationship. Not by having a “you have to lose in order for me to win” mentality. We will not win if our agenda is to get our needs met by overwhelming, over charging, hustling and selfishly using others with a “by any means necessary” attitude.

We must treat people the way we “expect” to be treated and by treating people like “people” and not like they are an object, resource, cash cow, or a means to an end.  

Without integrity, we may be able to put on a good act and fool others long enough to capitalize off of them at least once, but if we want to stay in it, being selfish won’t keep us there. We will forever remain on the chase in a state of suffering, desperation and misfortune in our pursuit to gain.  

If we believe that not honestly earning our successes, and cheating the system and/or people will create a win for us, we are mistakenly wrong. So yes, business IS personal, business is NOT “just business!”


Forgive them…

A person that you love that can’t love you back isn’t to say they don’t have a heart. But the way that they know love will be based on their life experiences and understanding of love. When you love someone that can’t love you back it’s not always personal. They may be operating and navigating through life battling with their own insecurities, a broken heart and a lost soul.

They may be hurting and may not know how to love you because they don’t understand how to love themselves. They can be holding on to years of suppressed pain that they haven’t dealt with or healed from. When hurt people hurt people it’s because their “free will” has dominion over their life and they are seeking to fill a void by searching for something beyond the love you give to make their pain go away.

They will continue to look to outside sources to make them happy and to make them feel whole because they do not have the understanding that their happiness and wholeness comes from within. They are serving and feeding their flesh (ego and pride) and starving their soul and though you may love them they are hurting you. Just because their pain is understandable does not mean their behavior to hurt you is acceptable.

Love and Ego cannot exist together. We are souls having a human experience and we’re either a slave to our flesh or a faithful servant to our soul. If you are feeding and serving one, the other will starve. When we starve we die. So we must choose to die to our flesh and submit to God’s love which comes from our soul in order to change a painful narrative.

We are weak to our flesh and powerless on our own and without seeking God’s grace and intervention we cannot and will not change on our own. We will fall into worldly temptation seeking fulfillment from vices to mend our broken hearts. When our free will is at work instead of us surrendering to God’s will, we will fall short, we will sin and we will hurt those that love us and that we claim to love.

Although you may love someone from your soul with every ounce of your existence, it is impossible for them to reciprocate your level of love and for them to understand that level of love without their own knowing of God’s love and having self-love. If they understand love differently they can’t love equally.

Forgive them and love them without expectation because them not loving you back may not have nothing to do with you if you gave them your best, do not take it personal. Love them from a distance in order to protect yourself from their pain being projected onto you but do not expect them to love you back when they are broken and operating under their flesh and with an empty soul. If their soul is empty they can’t give you what they don’t have to give.

Forgive them and pray for their healing so that they may seek and cultivate love and a relationship with the higher power so that their soul can be filled with love to give, and that they may be healed and saved. It is most important to love them towards salvation instead of seeking their love to make your flesh feel good.

Love is the one emotion that has the most influence and power over our lives. Love can heal wounds and set people free from self-doubt. Love can heal the aching soul and melt a cold heart, and yes love will be painful along the way if it is cultivated in the flesh.

In order to survive, we all need to be loved and unconditional love and lasting love can only come from the heart and soul not the flesh. Love from the soul is what will lead our minds and our bodies into healthy choices and loving behavior. So when they can’t love you back, forgive them and love them from a distance and continue to pray for their healing, recovery and salvation.

Flying With Broken Wings

Don’t Break a bird’s wings and then expect it to be able to fly.

Don’t break a heart and then expect it to be able to love.

Don’t break a soul and then expect it to be happy…

Najwa Zebian

Yes this is quite the expression of the reality of the human spirit. When it is broken it is all too easy to lose hope and to do the opposite of what you once did that was so good…

But what if you are the one that was meant to fly even with broken wings, continue to love with the broken heart and still find your joy when happy no longer lives in your soul?

You probably often wonder who is going to care for you, the one that still cares to care when so many in this world is so cold…

Well I say, continue being one of the ones that are not like those that give hate because they receive hate and are not like those that give bad because they received bad…

I often wonder why is it that the one that is willing to give their best and their all is consistently the one left to feel sad.

Why would anyone feel so comfortable with hurting a person that gives so much of themselves and their resources to enhance another?

Why are there people not willing to reciprocate love and kindness, equally contributing to others?

Is it safe to say that you should stop loving those that show you no love in return?

Or do you continue to love, continue to give and allow your heart to continue to burn.

Well I say, love anyway and continue to be you, the person before the pain and adversity…

you are the one with good character and choose to love, so continue to be kind because of your integrity.

Continue to live and walk in the light that shines from the goodness of your soul and continue to do all of the good that you do.

If a person can’t appreciate or receive your love and kindness, just let them be but don’t allow their actions to change you.

A broken wing, a broken heart or a broken soul wont stop me…



Not Everyone Has That 

The Lord has blessed me with a strong, beautiful, mother, she is very intelligent and caring, she took care of me for all of my years now

Not everyone has that 

A woman that has a strong voice, a woman that is starting to embrace her natural beauty, a woman that wants the best for her child

Not everyone has that 

Her heart is full of love, it’s as red as a rose, for red represents the color of passion her brain is occupied by knowledge

Not everyone has that

She has a son that wants the best for her, he has potential for his future, a future that can make her life better

Not everyone has that

The boy loves her, unconditionally and sometimes it’s hard to show, only because of the habits he had learned from his sanctuary

Not everyone has that

Thank you for all the things you have done for me. Everything is going to be fine, just give it time…

I love you Mom

Happy Mother’s Day

KR Ellis 

5/14/17-  written for me by my son!

 Character Impact (Article Blog)


Our actions will always speak louder than our words. Even when people aren’t listening to us they are always watching, looking to see what we are doing. We have no idea how much of an influence we may have over a person’s life whether they know us or not and whether our influence be good or bad.  Our actions have a tremendous impact on people. Actions can hurt or heal, bless a person or break a person. Too often people spend more time perfecting their personality and their speech without actually doing the things they speak about. People would rather see a sermon than to hear one any day. The way we “consistently” behave is from the core of who we are and from our moral fabric and what we believe.  Our character is why we do something and our personality is how we do it.

Our actions should be in line with our character and what we believe.  What we believe is how we should behave. When our personality overrides our character, we may do good things for others but that doesn’t make us a good person.  Our personality behavior is motive driven and may be perceived as traits of having good character. Our personality can be wrapped up in charisma, fun, charm and positive energy in a way that appeals to be favorable in the moment.  But when we are led by character, we will do what we believe in our heart at all times and in all situations. You may be able to trick some people some of the time with personality, but they are watching.

A person that is of good moral character will “consistently” act out of integrity, consideration, honor and respect for self and others.  Sometimes we make mistakes, poor decisions and we behave badly, but the core of who we are will dictate the delivery of our intentions.  Sometimes a person’s behavior is not meant for harm or ill will. If the behavior was not intended, was misunderstood, or may have caused pain or hurt to someone, a person of good character will attempt to make it right by taking corrective action.

An apology is not action. If you sincerely care about the person and did not mean to hurt them your apology should be followed up with action and changed behavior. Ask this question, “What can I do to fix this or how can I make this right?” And then be willing to do what is asked of you.  Sometimes our actions can cause very unfavorable reactions and this is by no means the result or the desired outcome we want to be left with in our situations and interactions with the people we care about and love.

If you have a character flaw of selfishly or carelessly behaving and acting without consideration of the impact your actions may have on someone else’s life, emotions or well-being, this could be very dangerous territory. Not every person you come across is mentally or emotionally stable and equipped to handle such encounters. Not one person is exempt from having gone through loss, heartache and heartbreak but some of us do not have a strong enough will to recover from one more let down from damaging behaviors and choices that can detrimentally affect our life… You without being consciously aware could be the straw that breaks the Camel’s back for that person. Your actions may lead them into a harmful or unhealthy action. Emotional pain has a long term effect on the human psyche and is harder and takes longer to recover from than physical pain.

The consequences of our choices are greater than our desires when we behave selfishly. When we do not take into consideration how our behavior can impact a person, especially those that we are close to, love or  have  entrusted into our world, this can have an adverse effect to our well-being. Our behaviors can potentially trigger someone into a depression, physical illness, heart attack, stroke or worst case scenario; can trigger them to want to take their own life and perhaps yours. God forbid, but if our choices and behaviors do not cost us our life that doesn’t mean it won’t cost us. That of course is if we have a heart and a conscious and actually care how our actions affect others. Karma and consequences will have their day; they do not hand out IOU’s or passes. And we all will have to face the consequences of our choices and actions.

Choosing to be selfish, careless and deceptive with our free will by exploiting other’s emotions is like poisoning the soil of the earth in which we also have to eat from, live on and exist in. Every time we knowingly and intentionally hurt others we are hurting ourselves. When we act out of good moral character, we make a conscious effort, decision and choice to do the right thing and treat others the way we would want to be treated.  Ask yourself, “Who am I?” and “What do I stand for when no one is around or watching?” “Who am I without my material possessions, talents, abilities, personality and perhaps my desirable physical attributes?” “What are my core beliefs about mankind, what are my standards and values?” “How is my character?”

If God took away everything you have and everything that you are able to do what kind of person would you be? That is what will define you. Character is what will be the determining factor for who stays loyal to you if life presents you with illness, tragedy, hardship or loss.  By the way, “their character,” not yours… If you are selfish, careless and a person that have very little regard, respect or consideration for how you treat others, it will be by God’s mercy and grace that the people that love you are able to forgive you and be “who they are” and be there for you in your most vulnerable and humbling time of need. When you don’t have good character to stand on when you are down, you will inevitably lose your people too. Don’t break a bird’s wings and then expect him to be able to fly…

Many of us are not grounded in our self-awareness and internal spirit and through our flesh we are not selfless to be able to love unconditionally. Our flesh is weak and will fall to ego, selfish desires and temptation most of the time if we act on our own free will.  When our character is flawed, most people can only love us or will be around us for what we can give them or do for them for their personal gain. When we have good character, people love us and want to be around us for who we are, for how we treat them and for how we make them feel.

If you don’t have and are not working towards having a good character no matter what show you put on for the outside world, you will eternally endure hardship, long suffering and pain in your life.  Be careful not to allow what you have in the physical realm of life, material possessions, talents, attributes, gifts, skills and personality to overshadow who you are on the inside (your character).  The most important thing for you to master is your character because at the end of the day, everything you have and everything you can do can be taken from you in a blink of an eye. Your character will be your true legacy, your character will be what you’re remembered for when you’re long gone.

Having good character is one of my highest values. Each day I strive to live a life that reflects that I’m a woman with virtues that promote integrity, good behavior and loyalty.   It is important to me to be mindful of how I treat others and how I show up in the world. Because I care about others, I also care about how people receive and perceive me and I have no desire to ever willfully hurt or deceive others by my choices and actions.  I am responsible for my behavior and I know how important it is to be a walking example and not a talking one.

I have been blessed to hear about how much my life has motivated, influenced, inspired and encouraged others just by the way I conduct myself and live.  This is why I choose to cultivate my character. I am here to serve God and to serve others with my gifts and talents and I strive to be better, do better and love better.

I have made mistakes, bad choices and decisions that didn’t turn out best for my life and heart’s desire, choices that have left me broken. I am a healing work in progress and I know that everything I have gone through has purpose. I am thankful and grateful for my experiences, heartbreaks and the painful chapters of my life as they have made me stronger and wiser and have provided me with valuable lessons and the opportunity to grow and to do better next time.  The work of self should never come to an end and like change is constant, nothing is meant to last forever and we were not born to stay the same.  If ever we are done changing, learning or growing we are done!

And remember, somebody is always watching…