Oh come on! Who do you think you’re fooling… yourself or him?
We have all been there at least once, where you find yourself just going with the flow believing that you can become sexually intimate with a man that you’re attracted to and not become emotionally attached. Yeah you know that “casual” dating or “casual” sex category that we so readily say were cool with until we start catching feelings. He says that he doesn’t want anything serious to happen, and you think, “Perfect! Neither do I…, I just want to have fun.” Well unfortunately sharing yourself with another is pretty serious and there is nothing casual about it, and eventually being casual will cause pain and confusion and less fun for you.
It’s kind of funny (well not really…) but us women will try it and end up playing ourselves. We get involved, start sleeping with the guy “casually,” no commitment, no relationship, we enjoy his company and boy oh boy are we in for it if the sex is Oooh Weee good! He can remain emotionally detached while enjoying the physical fulfilling sexcapades with us though.
And yes we have every intention on being “casual” and just enjoying the moment, or the episodes for what they are worth, but there is this one thing that we have absolutely no control over, and most of us had no idea that this thing even existed!
Yes, there is a real reason why women can’t have “No Strings Attached” sex. And guess what? It’s not our fault. Men, it’s not what you think. No we are not overly sensitive, No we’re not too emotional, and No we’re not always in our feelings. We have a real scientific and medical explanation for why we catch feelings and end up wanting to be connected to you on a more serious level.
Are you ready to hear this? Well let’s do it! Women have a naturally occurring hormone called Oxytocin that is made in the hypothalamus and is stored and released by the posterior pituitary gland in the brain. When released it produces a feeling of love and satisfaction and it increases the feelings of attachment for another person as well as feelings of trust. It also decreases feelings of stress, fear and pain.
And guess when it is most released??? Oxytocin is released during orgasm… BAM!!! Yep…there you have it! So in theory, the more orgasms you give to a woman, the more emotionally attached she is going to become towards you.
I believe this is why men became so prone to wanting and needing to “hit and run!” They truly are hoping for a one night stand hoping not to come back again…but then they are in trouble when her sex is just so Oooh Weee good!
But not only does this Oxytocin produce feelings of love and satisfaction, Oxytocin is also a hormone that increases contractions of the uterus during labor and stimulates the ejection of milk into the ducts of our breasts.
See the connection? Oxytocin produces feelings of attachment, we are not crazy! And catching feelings is not our fault! Babies need mommy’s milk so we produce Oxytocin for nurturing, not just for nurturing our babies, but that release gives us the desire to want to nurture you too!
Basically, our brain and body releases Oxytocin to strengthen relationships. Men have just a tad bit of this hormone but not enough to have the same kind of effect on his feelings. Oxytocin in women is like a 2nd tier hormone to our estrogen.
So naturally, without even trying to want more than casual sex, this powerful hormone is overriding, making us want to care about you and take care of you in other ways other than sexually. It is not in our DNA to naturally want to share our bodies with someone we don’t love or care about.
It may be socially acceptable for women to give it a try, but in most cases it is almost inevitable that a woman is going to get attached, become emotionally vested and will eventually want more than casual if she’s sleeping with you regularly. Women are designed to become wives to men and mothers to their children.
The only way a woman is going to continue to sleep with a man casually and never feel anything emotionally for him is if her copus callosum is damaged (the part of the brain that shuts out emotion).
Now this is very well possible if she suffers from some kind of childhood or adult hood Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from an event that completely broke her heart and damaged her sense of worth and value, leaving her not wanting to feel and sometimes not wanting to remember anything.
Promiscuity often times is a way to mask pain or even punish oneself for feeling ashamed of what a person may have been through or for what horrible event that may have happened to them at no initiation or fault of their own.
But if you are dealing with an ordinary, mentally stable woman that does not suffer from an emotional blockage and that was born with these natural producing hormones…she aint gonna be having sex with you with no strings attached long term!
You are going to end up sexing your way into a situationship or a relationship because even if you don’t set a title on your relations with her, she’s in a relationship with you. And the way that her heart and mind is set up…, a woman’s triple trifecta (estrogen, oxytocin, and PMS…) automatically wires her into nurturing and caring for you,(those things we call strings) because you belong to her…
So for all you “I aint looking for nothing serious right now, I just want casual” type of men out there… just know that it’s gonna happen! If you are sleeping with her regularly that oxytocin will be released, and she’s gonna catch feelings! Damn you Oxytocin!
God was clever when he came up with that one a suffering heart, confusion and displaced pain because of our adulterous casualness…he sure did mean it when he said sex is supposed to be enjoyed between husband and wife!
But you see, the way that our flesh is set up… And don’t be surprised when it happens to you. Oh I’m not talking about her catching feelings, but don’t be surprised when “YOU” Sir, “Mr. I just want casual” start catching feelings too…