Urgggh! I am so frustrated, confused, anxious and tired! I just can’t seem to let go!
I love him so much, I love him too much, I just want us to grow…
I continue to forgive him, and I continue to love him,
He has lied, cheated, disrespected me over and over again, and yet here I am still waiting on him…
waiting to see if he will ever realize how much I care, how much I sacrifice and give, how much I try, how much I…
Most people can’t understand other than, those women that are just like me, going through the same kind of emotional distain for him but yet still loving him, when he shows no love for me…
I‘ve let him go before, but we always seem to find our way back to each other, or at least I always let him back in…
It hurts so bad sometimes to watch him stray and treat me this way, I try to please and he abandons my needs.
Can’t he see that I am good for him? That I increase him, and that I am a part of him? When will he learn? And why can’t I just walk away?
Why do I continue to find myself holding on this way?
What is wrong with me? Somebody help me please! Somebody please explain this to me! I think I am losing my mind, am I crazy?
This is many women’s cry and plea! So why is it that women continue to go through such grief? Well here is a profound mythological explanation with a twist.
A Woman loves the way she loves because, metaphorically, she gave birth to Jesus.
Who else but a Woman, who other than a Woman, when Majesty is her womb? This is a special place of life’s origination and development that gives birth to Love and Jesus was his name. When a child is born girl or boy, they are pure love. The world has not tainted them or corrupted them and their heart is as clean, innocent and as pure as it will ever be.
A woman’s heart is synonymous to the heart of Jesus. If you look at how Jesus was sent here to love us and save us, women love their men and have the same, “I’m here to save him” kind of love too! When a woman carries a male child in their womb for almost a year, his every characteristic and his DNA is developing inside of her. If it comes from her it is of her. Jesus will never walk away or quit opening his arms to welcome us back each and every time we stray and then decide to return to him. He was born for this and she gave birth to this…
A woman was created with a body that can carry this love inside of her producing this amazing life. Even if she never gives birth the connection is in here DNA. A Woman cultivates love because of the seed of love was planted in her womb, so the roots of love comes from a woman. Men have the gift of planting the seed but the power of that seed resides in her, thus Love’s strength is born of a Woman!
Open your mind as I break this down for you in Christian Theology. With the residue of this child’s DNA left to the virgin Mary’s kindred (women), Love comes from a Woman. The ties are so deeply rooted in the connection to women being the mother of love, as she housed the heart and soul of the most high love that ever existed, Jesus Christ! He demonstrates an agape love in biblical terms interpreted to mean selfless, endless, perfect and everlasting.
When a woman loves a man, it’s synonymous to how Jesus has love for us, his children. Humans have conditional love but women have a heart like Jesus to love unconditionally. But at the end of the day, she is still human. A Woman endures a deeper pain, hurt and rejection than a man does when love between her and the man isn’t equivalent or equally distributed. The feelings that she experiences are equivalent to the feelings of Jesus, when we are not obedient to his will and his way. Women like Jesus, will still love a man through his every mistake, betrayal, unfaithfulness and sin.
We see the Love in him, as he was created in his image and in her womb… This is why women continue to hold on and stick it out. How do you give up on Love when you gave birth to it? We suffer with this inner conflict mentally torturing ourselves for not being strong enough to let it go when the man’s love just isn’t right. We begin to confuse a beautiful quality of having a steadfast love for our man as us being a fool. A woman can forgive a man over and over again as she hurts and dies inside but continues to Love him still. Even in his truths and admittance to wrong doing a woman doesn’t easily walk away.
Sorry men, but you can’t handle the truth! You are not as forgiving or willing to stand by your Woman if she were to do to you all that you have done to her out of ill will. You can’t do it because you didn’t give birth to Jesus, and you do not have that experience of having Love develop inside of you. You did not carry or house love inside of your body. I’m not saying you wouldn’t hurt as much as she or wouldn’t be extremely disappointed, but you will move on much faster before you would be willing to forgive…
Man was created to carry the seed of life, he provides that seed as a gift to a Woman. But his seed exits him, it’s being released out from him, we are the entrance. A Woman extracts his seed, materializes it and internalizes it as she does his love. A man can exit a woman’s life and heart like he releases his seed. But to house love, that which is developing inside of her and what is being produced in her womb is birthed with the purity and innocence of a perfect heart. But when the world gets a hold of that child’s life…, that child’s order and purpose is altered and life rears its ugly head of worldly temptation, sin, and the desires of a man’s own heart.
It has become an expectation that a woman is going to at least forgive her man two times after he breaks her trust and her heart. Men will take advantage of this by not honoring her love and commitment as he continues to repeat his destructive behavior. As humans, we’re not conditioned to love without conditions but women have soul ties to Jesus in a way that allows her to have a supernatural strength to love and endure the crucifixion from a man. This is not weakness, this is her strength at it’s highest peak.
Although she may be far from perfect, and doesn’t fulfill her man’s every need and desire, (by the way she wasn’t created to be your everything) men! Some of your love and development must come from God and from other guiding and mentoring relationships. However, if she loves you, and not just because she says so but by her consistently showing you love by her actions, it’s crucial that you don’t damage her. If this woman has your best interests at heart and she has shown you that she has your front, side, and back in supporting you in your purpose, with your dreams, your health; if she cares about helping to develop and protect your character and your spirit, you have something very special.
If you know you can’t give her what she needs and deserves leave her alone! It is not easy for a woman to stop loving a man or for her to walk away just because you screw up repeatedly. She truly wants to be in it with you when she is doing those things and investing her heart and time.
Remember the DNA residue of her womb? She has a body that was designed to carry, develop, produce and give birth to Love. So men stop punishing women for loving you, knowing you don’t deserve her mercy, grace, forgiveness and love. Put away the desires of your own heart and realize that love is special, love is a gift and it is not just for your pleasure, fun or abuse! It’s for you to honor, protect, and give. Love requires that you are selfless so stop being selfish. Women are born with the nurturing heart and spirit, and when you love her right, she will honor and protect your love. Just like Jesus, he loves us unconditionally no matter what we do, no matter when we move away from him he stays put and he is steadfast at standing still. He doesn’t move, we do.
He is unchanging and we can always return to him and he’ll always accept us back with open arms. We break his commandments and we cheat on Jesus all the time and still… he will never let go of his love for us. He can’t stop loving us because “He is Love.” He was born to save our souls and to be the example of love at its finest. As worldly sinners, we treat Jesus like a Loyal Woman feels when a man continues to hurt her after she has forgiven him and stayed with him.
But the difference is that we dare not and have never called Jesus a “stupid fool” for not walking away from us, and we will never speak down upon or degrade him for his undying love for us. We don’t become so quick to think that Jesus should just give up on us and not have unconditional love for us. He forever will have enough grace and mercy for us. We know this and expect it! Just like a woman that loves a man will patiently wait on her man to correct his ill ways and behavior.
She has a hope in him the way that Jesus waits on us to turn from our sinful and worldly ways and choose him as he continues to love us through all of the wrong that we do and have done. We ask for forgiveness and some of us do repent. A certain type of man on the other hand will often ask for forgiveness from a woman but does not change his behavior or actions and will continue to do the same thing or things that he is asking forgiveness for.
For all of the hurt and disappointment that we have put Jesus through because we keep straying from him, and returning, and repeating the cycle…, Jesus knows that we will be back just as men know that a woman will take him back. We seem to want to call on Jesus when shit hits the fan or when we hit rock bottom, because we realize that Jesus is the rock at the bottom as is a woman to her man.
We need to stop treating the woman who loves her man in the way that Jesus loves us, like she’s a scarlet letter. She is not a stupid fool, but on the contrary by his actions… her man is. Women will suffer over and over again because their not willing to let go so easily or give up when their man is not loving them right. But God gave us common sense and it all too often gets overridden by the heart when we choose to love instead of leave!
However, it’s ok and necessary to let go when a man just doesn’t get it! Even though we have warrior hearts and hearts that are capable of enduring so much pain, we were not meant to eternally suffer out of love.
So women, to save yourself from this heartache, make sure that the man you pour into is in a position from a mature and spiritual level and is wanting to, ready to, able to, and available to, be with you. Make sure he is willing to receive, respect and reciprocate your love. You make sure by asking, waiting and watching, and then seeing the results and fruits of his consistency. State your intentions and make sure you are on the same page as to the purpose and goal of that relationship.
The dysfunction is not with you loving a man in this way, the dysfunction and confusion comes when you love the man that lacks self awareness and consciousness. Your love and support cannot replace the lack of his self-confidence. If he is not at a maturity level of relationship readiness to where he’s responsible, reliable and accountable, he’s not ready to receive that kind of love from you and will end up stealing your worth, because he can’t find his own.
If he’s not ready to love you, he will dishonor you. Sometimes without us realizing it ladies…, we chose him but in the depths of his heart even if he is with us, he did not choose us for the role to be “the one” in his life! A worldly man will do whatever it is that a Woman is willing to accept and allow him to do because he doesn’t have the discernment of God, the concern or desire to do otherwise.
He’s going to inherently dishonor and disrespect your love repeatedly until he finds himself and becomes whole through God’s grace, not “yours.” You can’t save him, only God can. You can’t change him, he has to come to that place in his life of maturity to want it for himself. It is absolutely OK to love a man in the way that a Woman is capable of loving a man but you must be careful of who you let get comfortable inside your heart. Not every man deserves to be there nor will he take care of your heart the way you need for your heart to be taken care of.
The order of a Godly man’s steps are very intentional, and when he chooses you, he will not put you through heart ache as those men that are influenced by the lust of their flesh do. A man who is guided by His spirit will not continue to dishonor God’s will or his Woman.
So yes ladies! Letting go may kill your spirit after enduring and holding on for so long, but it will never kill your heart. Your heart is the strongest muscle in your body and you are a Majestic Woman! Your spirit will rise again as Jesus did! We were meant to be loved correctly and loved right, and if the man you are pouring into doesn’t respect you and can’t receive it, honor it, or return it, we must let go of him and learn to let go without feeling like we have failed our wombs or our purpose.
We have permission to let go without having to feel guilt or shame for it not working out because our saving grace is that, “we” may have given birth to him, but “we” don’t have to die for his sins! Jesus Christ, that Love we gave birth to…already took care of that for us!