I should have explored you to avoid being exploited, and my emotions wouldn’t have gone off like a bomb & exploded.
For trusting you and getting vulnerably involved, I was left to be defamed…tainted, embarrassed, wounded, & shamed from being caught up in your game.
There’s definitely some guilt that comes with now, feeling the need to sneak; and having to investigate my potential mate because I won’t believe the words he speak.
Doing the work of the FBI, CIA or Spy like agency, trying to find out if he’s telling the truth or always lying to me.
Starting off wrong because I can’t readily trust him, because I’ve been played before, I’ve been lied to & when “caught” still lied to, so I can’t fall for that shit anymore.
So I’m cautious like a construction zone while I’m getting to know the “who” in you, these are the things when previously lied to, new prospects have to go through.
I know my heart and mind is fucked up right now because of what I’ve already been through, and it’s not fair that I need to vet you, but yeah…guess what? I’m going to!
You’re on a prove yourself basis off top, because I need for you to show me, you have to put in consistency and quality time, I need for you to earn me!
What you do is who you are, so please don’t attempt to tell me, because I’m studying your every waking move, so no need for you to try me.
I’ll already know when you’re telling the truth, I’ve gotten good at this believe me. Just like I know when you’re telling a lie, I’m FBI-ing you so trust me.
I shouldn’t have to be the FBI…or a Super Spy to get to know you; I shouldn’t have to snoop & pry but for my heart’s sake I have to.
It will be great for “us” you and I, if your character truly checks out, but if you knew that I ran a background check, your trust in me would have doubts.
You’re probably thinking “this B%tch is crazy!” But I need that option to choose, because if you don’t check out and I get comfortably involved, I have EVERYTHING to lose!
That’s how you know what a person is about, is when they can hurt others without thought, not caring about the consequences of their actions, because “they” don’t have a lot…
Just know that women are investigative savvy, and your words don’t mean a thing, I’m the real deal and I need real, an honest and loyal man on my team!
#justbehonest #dontputthatwomanthroughhell #dontmakeherdoit #stopbeingselfish #youneedjesus #youruinedher #firstfindyourselfandthencomefindher #shejustwantedtoloveyou
If a woman is in a relationship with you and starts digging and looking for evidence to confirm what her intuition is already telling her, that relationship has already ended. it’s like sitting in a car that doesn’t have any gas in it. You can stay in it as long as you want, but that car is not going anywhere…
The loss of trust and the birth of insecurity is very hard to recover from. It is soul damaging and causes a mental block for not being able to process or understand having someone lie to you repeatedly or consistently when you are being open, honest and loyal to them. Whether it’s for their own personal gain, heart protection, selfish desires or from their own lack of security or maturity, the impact is heart altering.
There is not a high percentage of people that have looked into healing methods and breakup recovery programs or services to help them mend and mature so that they are able to enter into a new healthy relationship without carrying the baggage of the old into it. Unfortunately the natural reaction of a human being is to have a negative experience influence their future decisions and behaviors. Having gone through a relationship where lies dominated and trust wasn’t strong, these broken hearted people fall into the cycle of hurting others. Most times this causes a chain reaction for that person to become the person that hurt them…