Character Impact (Article Blog)

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Our actions will always speak louder than our words. Even when people aren’t listening to us they are always watching, looking to see what we are doing. We have no idea how much of an influence we may have over a person’s life whether they know us or not and whether our influence be good or bad.  Our actions have a tremendous impact on people. Actions can hurt or heal, bless a person or break a person. Too often people spend more time perfecting their personality and their speech without actually doing the things they speak about. People would rather see a sermon than to hear one any day. The way we “consistently” behave is from the core of who we are and from our moral fabric and what we believe.  Our character is why we do something and our personality is how we do it.

Our actions should be in line with our character and what we believe.  What we believe is how we should behave. When our personality overrides our character, we may do good things for others but that doesn’t make us a good person.  Our personality behavior is motive driven and may be perceived as traits of having good character. Our personality can be wrapped up in charisma, fun, charm and positive energy in a way that appeals to be favorable in the moment.  But when we are led by character, we will do what we believe in our heart at all times and in all situations. You may be able to trick some people some of the time with personality, but they are watching.

A person that is of good moral character will “consistently” act out of integrity, consideration, honor and respect for self and others.  Sometimes we make mistakes, poor decisions and we behave badly, but the core of who we are will dictate the delivery of our intentions.  Sometimes a person’s behavior is not meant for harm or ill will. If the behavior was not intended, was misunderstood, or may have caused pain or hurt to someone, a person of good character will attempt to make it right by taking corrective action.

An apology is not action. If you sincerely care about the person and did not mean to hurt them your apology should be followed up with action and changed behavior. Ask this question, “What can I do to fix this or how can I make this right?” And then be willing to do what is asked of you.  Sometimes our actions can cause very unfavorable reactions and this is by no means the result or the desired outcome we want to be left with in our situations and interactions with the people we care about and love.

If you have a character flaw of selfishly or carelessly behaving and acting without consideration of the impact your actions may have on someone else’s life, emotions or well-being, this could be very dangerous territory. Not every person you come across is mentally or emotionally stable and equipped to handle such encounters. Not one person is exempt from having gone through loss, heartache and heartbreak but some of us do not have a strong enough will to recover from one more let down from damaging behaviors and choices that can detrimentally affect our life… You without being consciously aware could be the straw that breaks the Camel’s back for that person. Your actions may lead them into a harmful or unhealthy action. Emotional pain has a long term effect on the human psyche and is harder and takes longer to recover from than physical pain.

The consequences of our choices are greater than our desires when we behave selfishly. When we do not take into consideration how our behavior can impact a person, especially those that we are close to, love or  have  entrusted into our world, this can have an adverse effect to our well-being. Our behaviors can potentially trigger someone into a depression, physical illness, heart attack, stroke or worst case scenario; can trigger them to want to take their own life and perhaps yours. God forbid, but if our choices and behaviors do not cost us our life that doesn’t mean it won’t cost us. That of course is if we have a heart and a conscious and actually care how our actions affect others. Karma and consequences will have their day; they do not hand out IOU’s or passes. And we all will have to face the consequences of our choices and actions.

Choosing to be selfish, careless and deceptive with our free will by exploiting other’s emotions is like poisoning the soil of the earth in which we also have to eat from, live on and exist in. Every time we knowingly and intentionally hurt others we are hurting ourselves. When we act out of good moral character, we make a conscious effort, decision and choice to do the right thing and treat others the way we would want to be treated.  Ask yourself, “Who am I?” and “What do I stand for when no one is around or watching?” “Who am I without my material possessions, talents, abilities, personality and perhaps my desirable physical attributes?” “What are my core beliefs about mankind, what are my standards and values?” “How is my character?”

If God took away everything you have and everything that you are able to do what kind of person would you be? That is what will define you. Character is what will be the determining factor for who stays loyal to you if life presents you with illness, tragedy, hardship or loss.  By the way, “their character,” not yours… If you are selfish, careless and a person that have very little regard, respect or consideration for how you treat others, it will be by God’s mercy and grace that the people that love you are able to forgive you and be “who they are” and be there for you in your most vulnerable and humbling time of need. When you don’t have good character to stand on when you are down, you will inevitably lose your people too. Don’t break a bird’s wings and then expect him to be able to fly…

Many of us are not grounded in our self-awareness and internal spirit and through our flesh we are not selfless to be able to love unconditionally. Our flesh is weak and will fall to ego, selfish desires and temptation most of the time if we act on our own free will.  When our character is flawed, most people can only love us or will be around us for what we can give them or do for them for their personal gain. When we have good character, people love us and want to be around us for who we are, for how we treat them and for how we make them feel.

If you don’t have and are not working towards having a good character no matter what show you put on for the outside world, you will eternally endure hardship, long suffering and pain in your life.  Be careful not to allow what you have in the physical realm of life, material possessions, talents, attributes, gifts, skills and personality to overshadow who you are on the inside (your character).  The most important thing for you to master is your character because at the end of the day, everything you have and everything you can do can be taken from you in a blink of an eye. Your character will be your true legacy, your character will be what you’re remembered for when you’re long gone.

Having good character is one of my highest values. Each day I strive to live a life that reflects that I’m a woman with virtues that promote integrity, good behavior and loyalty.   It is important to me to be mindful of how I treat others and how I show up in the world. Because I care about others, I also care about how people receive and perceive me and I have no desire to ever willfully hurt or deceive others by my choices and actions.  I am responsible for my behavior and I know how important it is to be a walking example and not a talking one.

I have been blessed to hear about how much my life has motivated, influenced, inspired and encouraged others just by the way I conduct myself and live.  This is why I choose to cultivate my character. I am here to serve God and to serve others with my gifts and talents and I strive to be better, do better and love better.

I have made mistakes, bad choices and decisions that didn’t turn out best for my life and heart’s desire, choices that have left me broken. I am a healing work in progress and I know that everything I have gone through has purpose. I am thankful and grateful for my experiences, heartbreaks and the painful chapters of my life as they have made me stronger and wiser and have provided me with valuable lessons and the opportunity to grow and to do better next time.  The work of self should never come to an end and like change is constant, nothing is meant to last forever and we were not born to stay the same.  If ever we are done changing, learning or growing we are done!

And remember, somebody is always watching…

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