My 2017 Testimony- The Purple Flower – Journey to Healing:

For every quarter of 2017, a little purple flower kept showing up in my life. One for each season of the year. If there were ever a time to believe in divine purpose and spiritual messages, this symbolism could not be any clearer. Q1, Feb 5th a young lady read me a devotional from the daily bread, an excerpt from the poet Thomas Gray’s wonderful line, “came across a solitary flower growing in a meadow today a tiny purple blossom wasting its sweetness in the desert air, why this beauty in this place I thought…”

Once finished reading the passage, she began to prophecy on the interpretation. The devotional comes from Psalms 136 His mercy endureths forever. Although pain and sorrow may reside inside our hearts at times like an abandoned desert, beautiful hearts are never wasted. No matter how broken a heart may be or how troubled it is, it doesn’t change the fact that it is still a heart. It still functions for the purpose of its existence. The purple flower was hidden in the desert, regardless if it was never seen by anyone, it doesn’t change the fact that it is still a beautiful purple flower, nature is never wasted. That flower is an expression of the true goodness and faithfulness of the one who brought it into being. Nature reminds us of God’s mercy, His grace. Do we see the beauty in the desert, the lessons that will help us grow and mature us, the blessings that are born out of storms? Or do we just see the desert, a hardship a challenge? It gave me goosebumps that it just so happened that on the coffee table was a purple carnation the young lady received the night before. I asked to keep it as a reminder. I had this little plastic heart shape case that I received from my Goddaughter after Valentine’s Day. It was once filled with candy and it was the perfect size to became my purple flower’s home. Because of its significant symbolism the purple flower in the heart is now displayed on my living room mantle. Q2 June 25th, I was reminded again to never forget the purpose behind the pain. That day, I opened up my IG and the first picture I saw was this cute little dog standing in what resembled a dry desert holding a purple little flower in his mouth. I saved the pic because it reminded me of the devotional. It was like he was bringing the flower to me to remind me that I will get through this and heal and greater will be the blessings behind the lessons. Q3, September 1st, I have a calendar on my desk at work and for the month of September, the picture was no other than kismet. A purple flower surrounded by cactus. As I looked at the picture it was met with chills and tears. I thought to myself, “yeah right, you gotta be kidding me!” And how is this for a bonus, a serenade of “Miss Celiei’s Blues” from the movie “The Color Purple” popped up on my timeline by songstress Serena Henry on September 17th. And then the purple finale. Q4, December 6th, l

was helping a loved one settle in to their new place, as they were going through a box, they pulled out this tiny dried up purple carnation! They laughed as it was so small and survived being surrounded by books, pictures and other memorabilia. As they started to tell me the memory behind the flower, I had that serendipity feeling and I told them about the other 3 encounters of the purple flower showing up in my life in 2017. They then gifted it to me and it now sits on display like a genie in a bottle. God has a very creative way of showing up and getting our attention. Every step of the way during my journey, He sent me a purple reminder. Purple was my color for 2017. The color of growth, spiritual maturity, healing and surrender. For as sure as I would relapse and feel discouraged along the way, God was sure to remind me… everything happens for a reason and everyone serves and have served a purpose for crossing my path. Some hurt me, deceived me, others taught me, loved me, some needed me, some used and abused, others restored and inspired and others expired… I learned that choices determines destiny not chances. We can choose to see the brighter side of things, the purple flower in the desert or we can choose to suffer. I am choosing me because I am the brighter side of things, I am the purple flower in the desert and my heart is still beautiful. I’m no longer taking chances on or giving chances to people or situations that are not in alignment with God’s will for my life. I will listen to my heart but with the discernment and understanding that feelings and emotions are easily distorted there. The purple flower assured me that I have an amazing God and that he is with me when I am in the desert of life and that my intuition and discernment are gifts I can trust to lead me towards the right choices to fulfill my destiny.

Sweet Deliverance

I closed my eyes and sat in a deep silent meditation, desperately seeking peace and understanding. I took my first deep breath, I slowly inhaled and exhaled. I took another and then one breath after the other. I was in a state of surrender and my ears and heart were wide open. So I breathe and I wait, I breathe and I listen…listening to the waves of the ocean in the background to the soft tunes of the flute and grand piano.  Sweet sounds accompanied by the calming of birds chirping and soft wind.  My sorrowful spirit was awakened and then it happened and I welcomed it in…

The spirit of sweet deliverance whispered in my tired, torn, discouraged ear and spoke to my broken heart, my self-esteem, my hopes, my fears. Sweet deliverance spoke ever so gently to the wounded little girl in me. It spoke to my inner being and spoke to my sorrowful energy.  It spoke to my desires and dreams, my doubts and my constant internal pain; it spoke to the fragrance of a wounded woman that have been crying tears like a mourning rain.

“YOU ARE LOVE” it said, Love is your inner being and is your highest energy. Loving someone has never been about them it has always been about me… It doesn’t matter who outside of myself doesn’t give love to me because I AM LOVE and I am enough because my love is rooted internally. My love is abundant and there is always enough to share and enough to replenish me.

My joy, my happiness, my peace and my energy comes from my spiritual divinity. I AM LOVE and that proclamation is embedded in my heart because my own love cannot be taken away from me…

Thank you Sweet Deliverance!

 “When we are in a relationship or love someone, we think it’s about them and who they are what they do and how they make us feel but the reality is that loving someone is about you and your capacity to be open, vulnerable, available and accessible to your own love. The challenge is that we focus externally on the person we love because we do not recognize and realize that love is a function of the soul not a person. The yearning for that person is because they have awakened something within us “key word” (within).  The love that you are giving and receiving is the love that YOU are. It is your love that makes you feel fulfilled, you just have somewhere to focus it on for a little while when you give love to someone in a relationship. It is the giving of your love that is so satisfying, it was the opening of your heart that was giving you joy. The other person was just the recipient and focus of your love at the time. The reason why we suffer so much when we are no longer getting or giving love from a relationship that has ended is because we were taught to believe that we need someone else to love or for someone else to love us in order to experience love. Yes to share your love with someone else is one way to experience love but not the only way. Once you understand that the people you are in a relationship with at the time have simply opened your heart for you to express love, you can reclaim your capacity to love again and focus it on yourself until there is someone else to share and experience your love with.”

 

 

 

Protect Your Light

Often times it is very common that spiritual people will attract people who need healing. This is a beautiful thing if the person wants to share that person’s flame in order to light their own wick with it.  If you are a spiritual person you most likely have a high healing vibration of good energy and may find that you attract people who see something within you that they may be missing, and seek to fill that space within themselves by getting that energy from you.

Just as a flame can glow beautiful and bright, it also attracts moths. So be careful and protect your light. Realize that there will be many people throughout your life that will see the spiritual golden flame within you. Some will hold the same light and reflect it back at you, leaving you feeling replenished.

Others may seek to steel your light instead of learning from it in order to heal into their own beautiful flame.   You will attract people from all walks of life, but you do not have to settle for friends or relationships that drain you. Protect your light and be with and around people who reflect your light.

Your spiritual flame is like a trick birthday candle. When a person tries to blow you out, your flame may dim momentarily but will surprisingly rise again with force and will keep on rising with each blow.   A person that attempts to blow out your candle or dim your light in an effort to make there light shine brighter will eventually run out of wick. But remember, you too will burn out if you continue to allow people to drain your energy by diming you instead of reflecting back at you…

Business “IS” Personal 

I’m fed up with hearing it, so I am debunking the saying “It’s just business”

All business is not good business and yes, BUSINESS IS PERSONAL. Any time a person uses the statement “ it’s just business” it’s usually to justify their intent and agenda to engage in an unethical act or right before they’re about to royally fcuk you over. Every business decision affects people. And if we are willing to engage in business dealings with people we don’t like, respect, trust, or would otherwise trade places with just to put a buck in our pocket, we are setting ourselves up to fail.

Here is why:

Our character will override our product, talents, personality and our current customer base, fan-base/following in the long run. If our character lacks integrity, our successes will eventually suffer and come to an end, because “when it’s done in vain it can’t remain.”

What is integrity? Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. It’s a character trait of good ethics, decency, fairness, sincerity and trustworthiness. It is having the desire to do the right thing even when no one is watching. 

If we have achieved any level of success, in order to maintain that success we must have integrity. We will lose respect, credibility, current success status and future opportunities when integrity is absent from our character. Nothing built on a false and faulty foundation will last. The downfall may not be today or even this decade, but it is the universe’s quantum karmic attraction that, inevitably our downfall will come.

We must understand that integrity is not for us, it is to benefit others. It limits the amount of people that become victims due to our selfishness. Because what we do, not only impacts us, it impacts others. When we act out of integrity it benefits us because it is an insulator that protects us in our absence. 

Not that having integrity will deem us to be perfect or free of making mistakes or bad judgement calls, but what it will do is stand on its truth of who we are. The consistency in our character and in our actions is what defends our personal brand when we are not present to defend ourselves.

When we reach a certain level of success, best believe that we will be challenged by the naysayers, back stabbers, haters, ill-willed individuals and competitors that will attempt to slander our name and credibility to those that may not have had an opportunity to work with us or have not yet experienced our character.  

Having a track record of living in integrity protects and covers us. It overrides and dismisses the rumors and the malicious attacks or attempts because the truth of who we are stands on the evidence of our consistent demonstration of having integrity. Loyalty of our customers, fans, business partners, clients, etc. will only remain with us by our building of trust with them, and in order for that to happen it has to get personal. 

We achieve this by creating a win win relationship. Not by having a “you have to lose in order for me to win” mentality. We will not win if our agenda is to get our needs met by overwhelming, over charging, hustling and selfishly using others with a “by any means necessary” attitude.

We must treat people the way we “expect” to be treated and by treating people like “people” and not like they are an object, resource, cash cow, or a means to an end.  

Without integrity, we may be able to put on a good act and fool others long enough to capitalize off of them at least once, but if we want to stay in it, being selfish won’t keep us there. We will forever remain on the chase in a state of suffering, desperation and misfortune in our pursuit to gain.  

If we believe that not honestly earning our successes, and cheating the system and/or people will create a win for us, we are mistakenly wrong. So yes, business IS personal, business is NOT “just business!”
 
 

WHAT TO DO WHEN THEY DON’T LOVE YOU BACK

Forgive them…

A person that you love that can’t love you back isn’t to say they don’t have a heart. But the way that they know love will be based on their life experiences and understanding of love. When you love someone that can’t love you back it’s not always personal. They may be operating and navigating through life battling with their own insecurities, a broken heart and a lost soul.

They may be hurting and may not know how to love you because they don’t understand how to love themselves. They can be holding on to years of suppressed pain that they haven’t dealt with or healed from. When hurt people hurt people it’s because their “free will” has dominion over their life and they are seeking to fill a void by searching for something beyond the love you give to make their pain go away.

They will continue to look to outside sources to make them happy and to make them feel whole because they do not have the understanding that their happiness and wholeness comes from within. They are serving and feeding their flesh (ego and pride) and starving their soul and though you may love them they are hurting you. Just because their pain is understandable does not mean their behavior to hurt you is acceptable.

Love and Ego cannot exist together. We are souls having a human experience and we’re either a slave to our flesh or a faithful servant to our soul. If you are feeding and serving one, the other will starve. When we starve we die. So we must choose to die to our flesh and submit to God’s love which comes from our soul in order to change a painful narrative.

We are weak to our flesh and powerless on our own and without seeking God’s grace and intervention we cannot and will not change on our own. We will fall into worldly temptation seeking fulfillment from vices to mend our broken hearts. When our free will is at work instead of us surrendering to God’s will, we will fall short, we will sin and we will hurt those that love us and that we claim to love.

Although you may love someone from your soul with every ounce of your existence, it is impossible for them to reciprocate your level of love and for them to understand that level of love without their own knowing of God’s love and having self-love. If they understand love differently they can’t love equally.

Forgive them and love them without expectation because them not loving you back may not have nothing to do with you if you gave them your best, do not take it personal. Love them from a distance in order to protect yourself from their pain being projected onto you but do not expect them to love you back when they are broken and operating under their flesh and with an empty soul. If their soul is empty they can’t give you what they don’t have to give.

Forgive them and pray for their healing so that they may seek and cultivate love and a relationship with the higher power so that their soul can be filled with love to give, and that they may be healed and saved. It is most important to love them towards salvation instead of seeking their love to make your flesh feel good.

Love is the one emotion that has the most influence and power over our lives. Love can heal wounds and set people free from self-doubt. Love can heal the aching soul and melt a cold heart, and yes love will be painful along the way if it is cultivated in the flesh.

In order to survive, we all need to be loved and unconditional love and lasting love can only come from the heart and soul not the flesh. Love from the soul is what will lead our minds and our bodies into healthy choices and loving behavior. So when they can’t love you back, forgive them and love them from a distance and continue to pray for their healing, recovery and salvation.

Flying With Broken Wings

Don’t Break a bird’s wings and then expect it to be able to fly.

Don’t break a heart and then expect it to be able to love.

Don’t break a soul and then expect it to be happy…

Najwa Zebian

Yes this is quite the expression of the reality of the human spirit. When it is broken it is all too easy to lose hope and to do the opposite of what you once did that was so good…

But what if you are the one that was meant to fly even with broken wings, continue to love with the broken heart and still find your joy when happy no longer lives in your soul?

You probably often wonder who is going to care for you, the one that still cares to care when so many in this world is so cold…

Well I say, continue being one of the ones that are not like those that give hate because they receive hate and are not like those that give bad because they received bad…

I often wonder why is it that the one that is willing to give their best and their all is consistently the one left to feel sad.

Why would anyone feel so comfortable with hurting a person that gives so much of themselves and their resources to enhance another?

Why are there people not willing to reciprocate love and kindness, equally contributing to others?

Is it safe to say that you should stop loving those that show you no love in return?

Or do you continue to love, continue to give and allow your heart to continue to burn.

Well I say, love anyway and continue to be you, the person before the pain and adversity…

you are the one with good character and choose to love, so continue to be kind because of your integrity.

Continue to live and walk in the light that shines from the goodness of your soul and continue to do all of the good that you do.

If a person can’t appreciate or receive your love and kindness, just let them be but don’t allow their actions to change you.

A broken wing, a broken heart or a broken soul wont stop me…

 

 

Not Everyone Has That 

The Lord has blessed me with a strong, beautiful, mother, she is very intelligent and caring, she took care of me for all of my years now

Not everyone has that 

A woman that has a strong voice, a woman that is starting to embrace her natural beauty, a woman that wants the best for her child

Not everyone has that 

Her heart is full of love, it’s as red as a rose, for red represents the color of passion her brain is occupied by knowledge

Not everyone has that

She has a son that wants the best for her, he has potential for his future, a future that can make her life better

Not everyone has that

The boy loves her, unconditionally and sometimes it’s hard to show, only because of the habits he had learned from his sanctuary

Not everyone has that

Thank you for all the things you have done for me. Everything is going to be fine, just give it time…

I love you Mom

Happy Mother’s Day

KR Ellis 

5/14/17-  written for me by my son!